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2009/07/28 / LAW

Breakdown.

* more old stuff.  i warned you. * from 07.04.09 *

They’re still gone.  I’m still here.  Not much to report to this point – a little reading, a little hanging, a little computer goofing-arounding.

It’s kind of nice not having to set a good example for anyone.  If I were so inclined, I could march around the house chanting curses!  Chips & cocktails in the afternoon!  A girl could get used to this!

And then, the wrench. 

On the phone with Mr., just checking in, and he makes a crack about our kids being socially retarded.  Or something to that effect.  He says they’re just standing there watching the other kids play, like they don’t know what to do.

I remember saying that they just got there the night before, and the kids can be a bit shy in the beginning.  They’d probably be fine within the half hour, once they warmed up a little.  I don’t remember much after that.  Enter the meltdown.

All my bullshit about Kids-need-to-be-at-home-when-they’re-young and Parents-need-to-raise-their-children-not-some-daycare/babysitter and Preschool-is-bunk-kids-learn-more-socially-from-every-day-real-life-interaction-than-from-being-in-a-gang-of-twenty-kids-their-own-age will go out the window with me.  I sob wildly, I have RUINED THEM!  WHAT HAVE I DONE?! EVEN THEIR FATHER THINKS THEY ARE MESSED UP!

They say you’re always the last to know.  Here I’d been thinking I was doing a fairly decent job of raising my kids.   They have pretty good manners for little kids, they read, they write, well, one of them does, and they are imaginative and loving and funny.  Now, apparently, I was wrong about all that because MY KIDS DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY WITH OTHER KIDS!  THEY ARE LITTLE FREAKY ANTI-SOCIAL HERMITS!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

After the storm passed, my husband and I talked some more.  He confirmed that yes, after about 30 minutes, the kids were running and raising a ruckus with the whole gang.  Just like I’d predicted they would.   He was just kidding, he said, he didn’t really mean there was something wrong with the kids.  He was sorry and never meant for his comments to upset me.

I accepted his apology from my exhausted heap.  There’s nothing like hours of gut-wrenching, second-guessing, self-criticism to get a mom going.  On a more sane day, I probably would have laughed along from the start, picturing the kids being so overwhelmed by all the new faces they couldn’t do anything but stand there with their mouths hanging open.   This, apparently, was not to be one of my more sane days.  I’ve always been a little high strung, but this whole letting the family go away without me has made me feel like I’m walking around without skin.

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